sorry, sad, simple-minded

I never got a call on Monday for the job I applied for in Vermont. I'm pretty sure that means I'm not hired. Well, that sucks. I have no money and a lot to buy. That also sucks. It is a rarity for me to feel happy/accomplished/fulfilled. Great stuff. I'm not sure I have anything to look forward to. I guess I could be happy that I am planning on moving to VT but then again I don't know where $ is going to come from and if it'll even work out. I don't exercise nearly as much as I used to...I just never feel like it anymore. I eat all the time, probably because the sound of my jaw gnashing and chewing drowns out the drone of my own thoughts. All I ever want to do is read and walk. I find myself wanting to get away from my family; and this is weird for me since I've always been so close. I'm tired a lot, and whenever I take naps I never want to get up and every morning I fight back frustrated tears and teeth-clenching anger that I have to get out of bed. I wish I could disappear for a while. Something is just not quite right in my head, or right with my life, and I feel like I need to be completely displaced from where I am now in order to sort stuff out.